This New Dawn

Laurel Hall Author and PoetWhen I was recovering from abuse, I found journaling to be extremely helpful.  The purpose of this blog is to help victims of sexual abuse by teaching them to journal.  After discussing a a topic I will leave a question(s) for you to answer.  Have a notebook handy, write the question(s) in the notebook and then write your answer(s).  Be honest with yourself.  This will be your private journal.  Keep it in a safe place.  LH

For me, sexual abuse left me with an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. It was all my fault. I should have stopped it! I felt I was going to hell. There could be no forgiveness and I developed an extreme fear of death. This fear led to anxiety attacks which lasted for decades, which led to beatings from by father. I became a depressed, angry, hostile child that no one wanted to be around. I hated myself and everything about me. If people knew my secret, I felt I would be rejected and ostracized by the everyone who knew me. As a result I developed no social or interpersonal skills. I didn’t even know what that meant.

Due to the emotional and physical abuse at home, I felt so alone in the world. No one wanted me, not even my parents. I blamed myself for being unworthy of their love. I felt ugly, unlovable, worthless, inadequate in every sense. Everyone was better that I was. There was no joy, no happiness, no laughter in my life, just anger. Lacking attention left me vulnerable to predators.

How did sexual abuse affect you?’

Caring for victims.

Laurel Hall

 

uxicached