When I was recovering from abuse, I found journaling to be extremely helpful. The purpose of this blog is to help victims of sexual abuse by teaching them to journal. After discussing a a topic I will leave a question(s) for you to answer. Have a notebook handy, write the question(s) in the notebook and then write your answer(s). Be honest with yourself. This will be your private journal. Keep it in a safe place. LH
For me, sexual abuse left me with an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. It was all my fault. I should have stopped it! I felt I was going to hell. There could be no forgiveness and I developed an extreme fear of death. This fear led to anxiety attacks which lasted for decades, which led to beatings from by father. I became a depressed, angry, hostile child that no one wanted to be around. I hated myself and everything about me. If people knew my secret, I felt I would be rejected and ostracized by the everyone who knew me. As a result I developed no social or interpersonal skills. I didn’t even know what that meant.
Due to the emotional and physical abuse at home, I felt so alone in the world. No one wanted me, not even my parents. I blamed myself for being unworthy of their love. I felt ugly, unlovable, worthless, inadequate in every sense. Everyone was better that I was. There was no joy, no happiness, no laughter in my life, just anger. Lacking attention left me vulnerable to predators.
How did sexual abuse affect you?’
Caring for victims.